Friday, June 22, 2012

Carry On Up the Wa-Zooo

Carry On Up the Waa-Zooo

It was cool afternoon in the Highlands, the sun was setting fast, a chilly breeze swept across the courtyard and cut clean through your coat like a frozen blade, before taking the breath from your lungs. There were several figures were headed towards the lights of the “Gutted Dog”. 
Huddled in a corner near the crackling open fire, several Archaeologists were speaking of the exciting find by Professor Buggarov and his team from the University of Glasgow, the hieroglyphic piece of stone spoke of a treasure beyond belief hidden in the upper reaches of the White Nile. The lost Treasure and Tomb of the Kushite Pharaoh Analmaye on a branch of the White Nile, the group of archaeologists cannot agree on a team leader so they all leave the “Gutted Dog” mumbling under their breathes, “I will be the first” is heard as they head into the cold night.................

Turn 1
Surprise, surprise all of the teams arrive at the villages at the foothills of the Waa-Zooo falls at the same time,  the Submarine cannot travel any further upstream and has unloaded her crews, a river Taxi operates on the river this time of year, and the teams are then split on either side of the river.

(I didn't realise that my mother in Law was around then!!!!)
On the Sudanese village side of the river Professor Buggarov with his University of Glasgow team Prof.Rufus T Firefly of the Freedonia, Lilli Marlene...adventuress...The Browning Brothers, Kid and Boy...Teddy "The Owl" Rosefield...Harry "shotgun"Haroldsen... Tony Greystokell...Drogo Baggins... Toby Samwise and finally Albert Baden-Powell. Professor Buggarov manages to persuade the local Riverboat taxi captain to take him further up the river by boat hopefully saving him some time and the hassle.

Beside them the adventurous Professor Emily Fiterole was sponsored and protected by her long time lover and Chinese Warlord Whoo Flung Dung, and his gang of cutthroats, Capt Yaaatzee, Cpl Dimsum, Lcpl (Lewis gunner) Chopsuuee, and privates How-So, How-Lo, Chill-lee, Fa-lee, Fa-So, and Hung-low.

Prof Crispian Smythe-Murchley (pith helmet)along with Doctor Woodbine Starkadder sensibly employed a local Guide “Hwatt” upon arrival and he served them well till the last, his forever faithful friend Col. Felix Anstruther-Clarke, Jasbir Randhawa Singh his batman, his Mad Scotsman Mattie McWillow armed with a large stick and a bad temper, Mr Tommy Smith is in the plus-fours and holding a brolly, Billy Fish, The Kid (the kid), Bloke armed only with his fists and a simple ethical code and Captain Conrad (the feller with the 303 and the cap)

And on the Ethiopian side of the River,
Colonel Archibald Fenton DCM KFC with his Bengali Volunteer Rifles along with Captain   Walter Walcarpet, Cpl Bill Poster, Lcpl I Wanna Sigh(thompson), Lcpl I Will “monkey hunter” Sigh (boys ATR), Private I Gunna Sigh (lewis gunner), Private I Shudda Sigh ( bren gun), Private Ray Sleader, Private Howard I-No and Private Terry Cotta.

Major Robert “Bingo” Rodgering and his faithful White Russians, lead by Captain Alexander “Bullo” Stroganov, Sgt Ivor Tossoff, Cpl Ivor Igottagoski, Lcpl Imar Flogoff, Private Mickeal Mylifesuckski, Private Ivor Haddenough, Private Boris Kosco, Private Piot Nevergoski, Private Sasha Nevergoski, Private Vasily Igottagoski, and Private Vladamir Zuckski.

Professor Lawrence of Argh-Rabia and his Protectors of the Sands lead by Captain Mustapha Poo, Sgt M’Balz Es-Hairi , Cpl Haid D’Salaami, lcpl Hous Bin Pharteen, Private I-Bin Pharteen, Private I-Zheet M’Drawzz, Private Yuliqa Mididiq, Private Al-Suq Akweer, Private Yul Strokheet Al-Wauch, and  Private Mustaf Herod Apyur Poupur .

and finally Professor Witchheimerand his gang of adventurers, Colonel Sebastian Cutthroat-Smythe MC and Bar, the celebrated novelist Eric Blair, Naughty Lola (in the aircraft) Dennis “machine gun” Thompson, Hamish Mctavish, Sophia Lockhart Flawse, and...........

Turn two

Prof Fiterole and her crew set off at a fast pace and are the first to enter the long Elephant grass, a Rhino is surprised and charges the crew goring private How-So of the warlords gang.

Meanwhile in the middle of the River Professor Buggarov and his River boat intrudes on a Bull Hippo who doesn’t like boats invading his territory and surfaces only to get a gob full of lead for his trouble, several times

 On the other side of the river the four teams push on flushing some Hippos and their calves out, Major Rodgering loses the twin Brothers of his team, trampled to death Private Piot Nevergoski , Private Sasha Nevergoski. Private Mustaf Herod Apyur Poupur is pulverised and has ended up a looking like a brown pile, and Private Ray Sleader of the Bengali Volunteer Rifles is now minus an appendage.

Turn Three
Prof Fiterole continues up the mountain, but fails to notice a Idol in the brush, upon passing the sacred idol the hat hunters pounce, taking two hats  (with heads attached!) for the chiefs hat collection

Dr Starkadder and his team travel in safety with the faithful guide preventing them getting in any trouble.

 Prof Buggarov departs his river taxi and elects to travel by foot, meanwhile  Naughty Lola surveys the lay of the land from the safety of her aircraft

And the teams get to view the Waa-Zooo Falls and the great stepped Pyramid and Giant temple atop them

Turn Four
Prof Fiterole continues across the rope bridge without any further problems.

Dr Starkadder’s team follows close behind as they head up to the caves.

However things on the other side of the river have become quite nasty for Maj Rodgering with a certain Skull rock was passed a rather peeved large ape appeared, and takes out three members of his team Sgt Ivor Tossoff, Private Vasily Igottagoski, and Private Ivor Haddenough.

All of the gangs got a shot off but the kill shot was performed by “monkey hunter” Lcpl I Will Sigh with his boys ATR.

Turn 5 and 6
The teams enter the cave and are bothered by some locals upon exit
Professor Lawrence of Argh-Rabia team loses another two members Privates Al-Suq Akweer and  Yul Strokheet Al-Wauch. 

The rest of the teams pass by without a loss.
Professor Lawrence of Argh-Rabia is the first to make it too the temple and mounts the steps

Followed by Maj Rodgering

And all the teams read the inscriptions and those who can translate the hieroglyphics decide to descend into the dark tavern below.
Professor Witchheimer takes head of the hieroglyphic warning and remains outside

Turn 7
The first team to descend is Professor Lawrence of Argh-Rabia team, who find a nasty surprise at the bottom of the rope and lose three members Hous Bin Pharteen,I-Bin Pharteen and I-Zheet M’Drawzz,  to the crocodiles leaving only four team members left in his party.

Professor Buggeroff team make it down safely

Dr Starkadder’s team make it down safely
“Hwatt” Starkadder’s guide doesn’t make it and is taken by the crocodiles! It was heard “Jolly Good, no need to pay the chap now is there” in the semi darkness.

And finally Prof Fiterole and Colonel Archibald Fenton DCM KFC with his Bengali Volunteer Rifles.

Turn 8
The hieroglyphics on the walls warn of the impending doom and some teams are scared and leap into the water returning to the waterfall, leaving on Professor Buggeroff, Dr Starkadder and Colonel Archibald Fenton DCM KFC and there teams to seek out the sarcophagus of Pharaoh Analmaye.
Dr Starkadder sends Bloke and the Big Willow backed up by Jasbir Randhawa Singh to move the sarcophagus

They successfully move it only to find the mummy of Pharaoh Analmaye protecting his treasure, Bloke surprised lays a quick three punch combo and the Big Willow  finishes him off with a Glasgow Kiss, and a swift boot in the crown jewels for his troubles.

Professor Buggeroff, Dr Starkadder and Colonel Archibald Fenton DCM KFC depart the tomb laden with treasures beyond their belief!

Bought to you by the Goulburn Valiant Stormers
Terrain by Bluewillow
Figures in no necessary order from
Bob Murch (chinese acting as Russians , Chinese)
Foundry (tribesmen)
Daze miniatures (King Kong)
Essex Miniatures
Ral Partha
Games Workshop (mummy)
Schleich animals
mixed plastic dinos and animals from Starkadder's and Bluewillow's collection
scratch built sub and steamer (built by Bluewillow, now in Starkadder's and Vinnie's possesion respectively)



  1. Matt: That is too cool! Fantastic looking game & figures. At first I thought, "The Land That Time Forgot" - the original with Doug McClure - with the sub and all. Best, Dean

  2. Brilliant stuff. Makes me want to break out my rubber dinosaurs and play ;-)

  3. Wonderful Matt, reminds me of the "moderns" games we used to play with the umpire being the other side so to speak.

  4. Great stuff! Really enjoyed the light-hearted narrative and action photos. Looks to me like you had a lot of fun. Keep it up!!

  5. Great looking game and report!


  6. Great set up Matty and looked fun....loved the titty girls